Do you want to win your ex back? If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who later dumped you, you may want to get back together. You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here’s how to win ex back:
First: Analyze your own feelings. Do you still care deeply about your ex? Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don’t want to lose your ex because he’s like an old slipper. But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.
Second: Examine how he feels about you. Does he have the same kind of grand love that you feel you do? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win your ex back. But, if the problem was deeper if you feel he was no longer in love with you then you should start to move on now.
Third: When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together. For instance, think back to who you were when your boyfriend fell for you. Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.
After you spend time with a guy, you just naturally begin to change. You spend less time with girlfriends and on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go a little physically because you felt secure in his affection.
If you want to win your ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.
Here’s a tip: One way to win your ex back is to practice detachment. Don’t call, text, or stalk him. You don’t want to appear desperate. By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him. This has been proven over and over again and is, at the same time, one of the hardest things to do!
In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You take up hobbies and other things which interest you. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in winning your ex back.
When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again. Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win your ex back.
From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events. Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party. Let him know he’s free to bring a date.
Finally, if you want to win your ex back, just be yourself. Either he’s in love with you or he isn’t. You can’t change who you are to win your ex back. You can only be yourself. If you try to make yourself into something that you know you are not – it can very likely come back to bite you later. Just be yourself – it’s what your ex fell in love with the first time!
T. W. Jackson explains this process extremely well in The Magic Of Making Up and I urge everyone who wants advice on their relationship to pick up a copy!
